I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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