I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
