I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
