This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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