Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
