someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
