when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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