Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
