My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
