question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need water and some morals
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
