So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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