and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
