she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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