Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
