Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
