i just wanna soil my oats bro
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
