Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
