the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
