Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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