all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
