At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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