I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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