i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
