bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
