i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
