Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
