I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
