I didn't shave. On purpose
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My balls are so social today.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
