i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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