She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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