he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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