Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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