I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
MIDGETS
????
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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