Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
