btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
