Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
