If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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