Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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