It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
