seriously i just wanna be friends
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
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The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."