Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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