BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night