He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
