I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
