this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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