My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love having hate sex.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
