Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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