I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
