I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
