another moral hangover. fuck.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
