I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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