My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
