he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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