NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
