By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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