So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please, let me fuck your mom
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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