You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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